Running Late
by Cardboard Edward
Summary: Only Valkyrie Cain could be late for her own wedding. Oneshot, Valduggery.


Originally written for Valduggery week. I did half of the prompts as fic, half as art, so i'll be uploading each fic individually. Enjoy!

* * *

Valkyrie fidgeted in the salon chair she had been trapped in for the past four hours and tried not to sigh audibly.

"Are we done yet?"

"Almost," replied the woman, a pixie-ish Elemental named Amelia. She groped for a lipstick on the salon table, and applied it quickly to Valkyrie. The stylist pressed her lips together, motioning for Valkyrie to do the same. Her lips made a satisfying smack when she did, and Amelia grinned.

"There you go. You're all – wait, one of your curls are loose." She darted around behind Valkyrie, armed with a bobby pin, and her client sighed.

Her gaze wandered out the window of the salon. It was a gorgeous day in June, the sun shining, people milling around and going about their day. She watched a man stoop to pick up a woman's wallet – and then pocket it.

Her eyes narrowed, and she kept her gaze as he straightened, his face exposed.

Valkyrie stood suddenly, and Amelia made an angry noise in protest behind her.

"That man…" Valkyrie said, mostly to herself. "He's a wanted criminal. He has posters all around the Sanctuary."

"Of course he does," Amelia tittered, not paying attention, trying to guide her back into her chair.

"Apparently he's harmless, but he keeps doing magic in public, and giving Scrutinous and the rest of PR a field day. They think he'll actually hurt himself – or someone else – any day now." She glanced back at Amelia, who was frowning now, attention caught.

"Well… I'm sure someone will get him."

Valkyrie bit her lip, forgetting about the lipstick.

Amelia tilted her head at her, and then her eyes widened. "Oh. No. Honey, no."

"I'll be right back," Valkyrie said, swiping her bag off the chair.

"What are you doing?" The stylist cried. "You have to get to the mansion!"

"I'll make it!" She called back, speed walking out the door.

"Get back here, Valkyrie Cain!"

Valkyrie did something like a half curtsey, apologetic, and dashed out the door. Her legs were sore from sitting so long, and she nearly toppled over once she got to the street.

She was clad in a white tank top and sweat pants, her hair piled and out of the way on her head. She tried to remember that while she ran after the man, across the busy street and down an alley. Car horns honked and mortals gawked, and she gave an apologetic smile, not slowing down.

The man realized he was being followed when she was about an arm's width away from him, and he squawked indignantly, speeding up. She was a little disappointed that he remembered they were in an alley and skidded to a stop before he ran into the wall.

"Pinsen Needles," she said, hoping she didn't sound too breathless. "by the power endowed unto me under the Sanctuary Rule-"

"Wait a minute," the man said, eyes widening. "You're Valkyrie Cain. But you're – you shouldn't be here!" His voice was wavery but accusing.

"Justice doesn't take holidays," Valkyrie said, which she either heard from Skulduggery or an old cop show. Probably the latter.

The man's lip quivered. "You can't stop me. I'm unbeatable. People hear my name, and they're, they're, on pins and needles. They can't, can't even handle the thought of me, they shiver with antici-"

Valkyrie sighed, crossing her arms.

"-pation!"

"Are you done?"

"My crime is never done! It's endless! An endless torrent of, of, torture!" He started to move his hands apart, fingers flashing with his ridiculously showy magic.

Valkyrie's patience was rather short, thanks to the four hours of her own torture earlier. It was rather admirable that she waited this long to hit him in the face.

And hit him she did.

Needles cried out, eyes watery. "I'm bleeding!"

Valkyrie frowned, looked at her hand. She didn't hit that hard. She turned her right hand over, and then saw the cause of the problem – her engagement ring.

"Just be glad you didn't dent this thing," she muttered, fishing a pair of handcuffs from her purse. He whimpered as she put them on, and she used them to drag him out of the alley, not wanting to touch any part of his sweaty fleshy self.

She was considering just leaving him in the dumpster to pick up later when she saw an intern she recognized from the Sanctuary – she was little, with wavy hair and a beauty mark to the left of her mouth.

"Micah," she called softly, and the girl whirled.

"Valkyrie! …What are you doing?"

Valkyrie gestured for her to come closer, and the intern did, curious.

"I need your help."

"Okay! What with?"

Valkyrie gestured towards her prisoner. "Can you escort Mr. Needles here to the Sanctuary?"

Micah's eyes widened.

"That's the spirit," Valkyrie said, pushing him towards her. The man completely dwarfed her, but he was also whimpering and crying, so she figured it'd even out. Or something. The young should be challenged, or whatever.

Micah, for her part, straightened and set her lip. "Yes, ma'am." She nodded at Valkyrie, and then suddenly took in the hair and makeup.

"Oh my God," she said quietly, and then repeated it, louder. "Oh my God, what are you doing here!?"

"I know! I know. I… I have it covered. Will you be okay with him?"

Micah at least tried to mask her blind terror.

"Right. I, uh, knew you could do it. See you later," she said, and then sprinted towards her car.

* * *

"You," Tanith said, shaking her head, "are so dead."

Ghastly wouldn't even look at her. Valkyrie had never seen him this disappointed in someone who wasn't Skulduggery before. She felt oddly proud.

She yanked off her tank top as Ghastly turned around, muttering to himself. Tanith helped her out of her clothes, and then removed a white gown from a hanger.

Valkyrie reached out to touch it, when Ghastly's voice came from the corner of the room.

"Don't gape at it," he said, still turned away. "If you managed to show up on time, you would have actually had the time to admire and properly appreciate what took me four months to make."

"I'm pretty sure he didn't sleep at all for three of those," Tanith added, as Valkyrie stepped into the gown. She held her breath as Tanith zipped it up, but then realized she didn't have to. It fit as comfortably as her work clothes.

Valkyrie turned, catching herself in the mirror. She stared, dumbfounded, for a few moments. The woman there was dark eyed and dark haired, her white gown contrasting beautifully. It was simple in shape, sleeveless and not too poofy, but the bodice was intricately detailed with beading and lace. She wasn't sure if she would have been able to recognize herself, if not for the toned shoulders and arms. She tilted her head back and forth, just to check it was her.

"Yeah," Tanith said, grinning. "We know you're hot." She went to fix her make up, swiping away a blot of lipstick on Valkyrie's teeth.

They turned when someone stuck their head through.

"Has she shown yet – oh!"

"Mum," Valkyrie said, grinning.

Melissa grinned back. "Oh, God, I'm going to start crying. Get going before your father tells any more jokes."

"He isn't," Valkyrie said, dismayed.

"He is," Melissa said gravely. "At least it's distracted everyone from your… delay. Well. Most everyone."

Valkyrie winced.

"He's been pacing for the past twenty minutes, sweetheart."

Valkyrie opened her mouth to say something, but there was motion at the door. Melissa jolted.

"That had better been you, Desmond," she muttered, and then scooted to make room for him in the room.

"Is she here?" Desmond said, looking around. "Because if not, I think I left a book of knock-knock jokes in Gordon's study-"

"What, thirty years ago?" Melissa said, sighing. "And yes, she is. I'm going to tell them to start the music. You look beautiful, sweetheart," she said to Valkyrie, and then left.

Desmond took her place, and finally took Valkyrie in, silently. She was worried he was going to cry. Normally she'd find it sweet, but all she could think of was Pinsen Needles whimpering.

"I can't see your knees," he said, finally, and then glanced at Ghastly. "Good work."

"Thank you, sir," Ghastly said seriously.

"Amazing work," Valkyrie corrected, and then went to give Ghastly a kiss on the cheek. His serious expression finally broke, and he squeezed her hand.

"Thank you," he said. "Now go before he has a heart attack."

"He can't have a heart attack," Valkyrie said, over her shoulder.

"You haven't seen him today," Ghastly said, raising his eyebrows.

Tanith grabbed a bouquet off a table and shoved it in Valkyrie's arms, and then gave her a quick hug. "Knock 'em dead."

"Deader than he already is," Desmond said, and Valkyrie groaned.

Tanith took Ghastly's arm, beaming, and they left the room to take their seats, leaving Valkyrie and her father alone.

He looked so old. There was more grey than black in his hair. He could be her grandfather now.

Desmond seemed to be realizing the same thing, though Valkyrie had barely aged a day in the past twenty years.

"If you were having second thoughts," he said, quietly.

"I wasn't," she said immediately.

"Of course not," he said. "But I did. And I was marrying a beautiful, funny, intelligent woman, not a four hundred year old-"

"Dad."

"What I mean to say, it doesn't mean you love them any less, or that you're a bad person. It's normal."

"Being late because you were arresting a criminal isn't."

"Oh, is that what you were doing?" He chuckled. "I am so glad you're my daughter."

Valkyrie rolled her eyes, and they turned as they heard the pipe organ start up.

"It's go time," Desmond said, intertwining his arm with hers. Valkyrie took a deep breath and followed him into the ballroom. It had been set up with chairs – not too many, she had been picky on the guest list – and decorated by the same people who had managed the Requiem Ball over 20 years ago. Familiar faces turned to look at who finally showed up, and she suddenly felt overwhelmed and very glad her father was holding her up.

Gerald "Thrasher" Scapegrace caught her eye and gave her an encouraging smile. His partner seemed to be sulking, and suddenly Valkyrie found herself grinning.

She looked ahead, and there he was, standing at the altar. He wasn't wearing a hat, which made him look strangely vulnerable. His skull tilted towards her, nonchalantly, but she could tell he had been worrying.

Erskine Ravel stood besides him, and he grinned cheekily at her. "Who gives this woman to be married?"

"I do," Desmond said. He placed Valkyrie's hand in Skulduggery's gloved one. She watched as her father walked to the audience, sitting besides his wife, Fergus, and Crystal. Gordon's echo stone flickered beside them.

"You," said Skulduggery in an undertone as Erskine started talking about holy matrimony or whatever. "You are very late."

"I'm aware," Valkyrie muttered. "It was important."

"More important than marrying the man of your dreams?"

"I thought Dexter couldn't make it."

He just looked at her, and she grinned.

"I was arresting Needles," she explained.

"Pinsen?" He asked, and she nodded. "You delayed going to your own wedding so you could arrest someone?"

Valkyrie winced. "Are you upset?"

"No," he said, sounding surprised. "Rather the opposite. You're… something else, Valkyrie."

"Well," she said, "we can't all take a day off."

"Unlike you, I honestly don't care what the world gets up to today." He looked out at her, and then reached for the back of her head, playing with the loose curl Amelia had tried to wrangle earlier.

"Ahem," Erskine said, and they straightened quickly. "As I was saying, should anyone here present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Valkyrie and Skulduggery looked out at the crowd.

"Looks like your secret admirers forgot to show up," she said to him.

"Your's didn't. I took care of them, though."

"Oh, good."

She smiled at him, and she could tell he was smiling right back. She took her hand in his, and they turned back towards Erskine. He waited a moment, and then wet his lips.

"Where was I? Oh, here. If no one-" He was interrupted by a disturbance in the audience.

"Valkyrie Cain!"

The bride to be turned around, and saw Pinsen Needles standing in the middle of the crowd, handcuffs gone.

"My arch foe," he bellowed. "We meet again!"

Valkyrie swore under her breath.


End file.
